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The topic is ????? yes... ur computer is ok.. u are using the correct font.. is juz tat i do not know what is word that i can use to perfectly describe my feeling.

Here I am 1.31am cant seem to sleep and her picture still imagine in my mind... if u all have realise by now... i have yet to use her name.. till now... even when im talking abt it with my friends... i never used her name... I am so worried that i will think too much when i see the name again... even the word Teddy hurts... the very sound of her calling me came haunting me.... the very sight of her happily calling me with a smile hurts... these are the things that was so deep down in me that i couldnt forget about it.. i cant seem to forget her smile.. her hug...

But yes.. i do feel better today... so much so that i did not tear nor cry until im alone... until i think of her voice that seem to be imprinted in my head and couldnt shake it off...

Everyone has been telling me... Dun be so sad... U deserve a better one...( i guess this is a standard template for all heart broken pple)

But... do i need a better one? Does a better one makes me feel the same kind love towards her? I dun noe.. seriously... i dun even think i need a better one... but oh well.. it has already been in this state...

sometime i feel so fake on myself... even if i still feel hurts.. i have to hold a strong front.. for my friends. and for my family... I really dun wish to let them see.... I just need some more time.. more time to erase her words... her smile.. and her voice that kept in my head.

Today i am thinking.. if i should forgive her.... but................... the very thought of her with him.. is so.. unbearable tat i didnt think further and say to myself.. i guess there's no way. Trust is the foundation of my life... since she lost my trust... i guess there isnt any need bah.

Let me head to bed... with no thoughts in mind.

Maybe tomorrow be a better day...