Tired

I dont know how should i feel.... today seem to be forever and every sec seem to painful.. i tear for her again... on the way back on MRT and i couldnt stop myself from crying at AMK hub so i had to go to toilet and whack it out.... did i mention even at work when eileen trying to find out from me? the thought that flash back to the time and the pain start to emerge..

The more truth i know.. the more pain i get... but i cant stop myself from wanting to know more and more... I really want to know how much information was hidden from me...

I really cant tell at which of time did she start to hid things from me... Even sometime I am thinking.. am i not gd enough to her? do i make her feel bored? thousands of AM i and DO i... but none came to a conclusion... I really wonder what really makes her change?

Today.. i get to know more information... something that was not what i been told and maybe even new to me... Pretty sad... I really hope this is juz an misunderstanding... maybe is i dont trust her enough hence causing all this unnecessary pain for myself... I sincerely hope i was wrong for the first time in my life...

I got a new wallet today though.. from my sis and ah foo... i cant thanks enough in my heart... everytime i took the wallet(her gift to me).. the scene of her telling me: "i didnt get your bdae present yet leh".."what you wan?"

HURTS! THIS is not something that a gf do if she love him..... I even wonder if she dun love me anymore so she didnt bother to do anything? she can even party till late when she knew she meeting me.. seriously... 17th April will never be forgotten...

Be it for the gd..(S.H.E concert is a big success!) or bad(Had to still endure someone that doesnt love me anymore)

Speaking of which... i even suspect i hear her saying y take him in the picture... when her fren was taking her picture.... really painful for me.. but i didnt want to fight... i even suspect i hear wrongly... but it doesnt matter to me now.........

I heard from sue that she sound like crying when sue call her... i was soft-hearted for a second.. but wait... y did she cry? A question i never want to know the answer.. but the thought of her being remorseful doesnt come across my mind at all..

But I have to say.. no matter how i hate her.. or how much pain she cost.. personal attack is never in my list.. so i'm actually pretty angry when i saw my sis status.. She should know me better that I wont like tat. So i got her to remove it..

I was listening to my MP3 and this song played... really touch my heart so deeply that i tear again... i got a feeling that the lady in front of me keep staring at me.. so i had to really stop myself before everyone come asking...

I should dedicate this song to all the sad soul in this world that just experience broke up... Hope u walk out soon...

(those in bold are the part that i feel is really what I'm Feeling)

YouTube link

思念是一种病

一辈子有多少的来不及
发现已经失去最重要的东西
恍然大悟早已远去
为何总是在犯错之后
才肯相信错的是自己
他们说这就是人生试着体会
试着忍住眼泪还是躲不开应该有的情绪

我不会奢求世界停止转动
我知道逃避一点都没有用
只是这段时间里尤其在夜里
还是会想起难忘的事情
我想我的思念是一种病
久久不能痊愈

当你在穿山越岭的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息

汲汲营营忘记身边的人需要爱和关心
借口总是拉远了距离不知不觉无声无息
我们总是在抱怨事与愿违
却不愿意回头看看自己
想想自己到底做了甚么蠢事情

也许是上帝给我一个试炼
只是这伤口需要花点时间
只是会想念过去的一切
那些人事物会离我远去
而我们终究也会远离变成回忆

当你在穿山越岭的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息
oh 思念是一种病
oh 思念是一种病
一种病

多久没有说我爱你
多久没有拥抱你所爱的人
当这个世界不在那么美好
只有爱可以让他更好
我相信一切都来得及
别管那些纷纷扰扰
别让不开心的事停下了脚步
就怕你不说就怕你不做
别让遗憾继续一切都来得及

当你在穿山越岭的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息
当你在穿山越岭的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息