freaking shag..

I think i'm simply going to be overloaded soon.. the time i blog this... is the actual time i juz reach home.. still with my jacket.. and my jeans on... omg stupid work!

Today been hearing a lot of complain by my team mate... oh well.. life is sooo unfair.. some pple who seem to be useless and not trustworthy to assign more work... gets no work but still drawing the pay that pple like us who is working like dogs should draw instead...

sigh... nothing i can do abt this but to blame myself into stepping into this pile of shit.. oh well something to be happy abt is the pple been working and learning from are very nice and interesting pple... so in a way im glad i change my job.... but this happiness will not last very long i guess...

In 5 more hours... i will be heading to a seminar on regards with immigration to aussie... a place i would love to spend the rest of my life on.... since i already gave up all hopes in singapore..

Sometime i wonder... if i were to migrate off... will she still think of me? sigh... she always want to go there... oh well...

Wenting is almost on her way there... so myself and zihao will join her next i hope.. lol.. to start a new life seem scary but life is all abt adventure isnt it?

i realise she been posting after i post something.. is this juz coincidence? Maybe we miss each other due to misunderstanding or maybe we just took a detour... time will tell.. at least to me.. i'm still on the same path with no cross-junction ahead.... juz yet.

Stupid me

Today... 3th August 2010.. after 3months and 19days since she told me she likes him... i never had a week without thinking about her... OK! U WIN! i still love u! and FML!

it was not long ago since she officially told me she is with him... Yes~ i already see it coming... i cant stop myself from being sad! WHY!?

I know i will be sad if i see their picture together BUT I STILL GO ahead and SEE!!! and now i feel extremely terrible....

Steph has been telling me again and again to let her go... I KNOW! I KNOW! i know in term of rational i should just let her go... BUT I CANT! she said is a rational over emotion... but u guys know me by now i AM a emotion side of guy... sometime i feel like i am the woman more than a man in a relationship... not that xiao sha...

When i was in poly... this friend of mine... Albert.. he was said.. it took him 3 years to get over the past relationship... i never knew why... so now i get it...

i really dont know when will i ever get out of this shit......

I put my msn nick. i have get over my sadness... time to get new one... im so trying to tell her that i am moving on... try to act as if nothing happen to me..

but the matter of fact is... no... i cant act as if nothing happen to me... i cant go out holding another person hand at all... i cant really put my heart into liking someone when there is a person parking in my heart with a season ticket without expiry date.

i have been thinking abt her alot today.. dont ask me why... i dont know either...

i want to know how is she.. but i know if i start asking... there will be no end to my misery.. though happiness is only a second when she reply.

Please spare me from all this thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! once again.. i hate myself to the max