back to somewhere i can talk

blog seem like the only way i can talk without having to announce to the whole wide world. Maybe because not much pple have my blog address?

Sadly every time i blog, the only reason is because i'm sad/depressed.

It's tougher than i thought it would be. For the past 2 years, i am so used to having her around me all the time that i feel empty whenever i open my wardrobe or cabinet. so used to having tons and tons of her stuff all over my room.. i thought it could be a easy breakup after so long but apparently it is tougher than any other relationship that i have before.

She might be naggy towards me,but somehow all these things also built up my character of getting things done. i really do not know if the decision is a mistake or its just me feeling lonely, but i do appreciate her companionship all these while. sometimes i really want to know how she is doing but i have to restrict myself from doing it. I cant really help it but to still care for her.

I wish i am able to let it go, to let her pursue her career and wish her well. but deep down i really hope she will fall someday so i can be there to pick her up again. Stupid me.

i find it harder and harder to sleep these few days without her hug... 2 years....730days of her being with me all nights... i guess is not just a day or two to let it go... i love her.. but i have to let her go so she can go for her own dream without me being her burden.. too much conflict when our dream is not the same.. she seem happy to me so that makes me feel even worst.. as though she does not care anymore.. oh god. please spare me the agony...

Somehow i hate sony to the core now.. even so much to related product such as PS3. i guess if she did not work, we might be even happier than before.

i realized friends cannot be with you everytime. They have their own life. There is only so much they can do for you. Sad but true. last but not least, let me dedicate this lines quote from the movie:


曾经有一段真挚的爱情摆在我的面前，
但是我没有珍惜，
等到失去的时候才后悔莫及，
尘世间最痛苦的莫过于次，
如果上天能给我一次再来一次的机会，
我会对她说三个字:我爱你。
如果非要在这份爱上加一个期限，
我希望是一万年